Spinning out of control seems to be what I have been doing best this past month. It isn't fair to the people around me I just can't help it. It effects others around you because they don't really know if everything is going to be alright, even when you tell them that you will get through this. I would have to say that my mood swings are more often than that of someone who goes through withdraws from drugs and alcohol. Not saying that one is better than the other. I have so many Highs and Lows that it is hard for the people around me to want to stay.
Today I went off just because the kids bought pizza. I need to learn to wait to speak my mind sometimes and try not to go off when they have friends over. I guess if I could learn to do this then I could learn how to control my moods. Being off of medication is so very hard for me and it isn't healthy with me being bipolar. I know there are so many people who say that they can handle things just fine without, however I am not one of those people. I never made it to the hospital today and I still struggle to breath, maybe if it gets bad enough I will have someone take me. Sorry off track... Anyway I just wanted to let you know that it is okay to spin out as long as you can pull in back together and be okay. If you ever feel that you have totally lost control of your life PLEASE get HELP for YOURSELF. Because I know it is hard for the ones around you to have to lose you forever. Life may end for you but for the ones left behind it really can screw them up. I should know, it has not only happened to me but people I love and friends.
Signing off for now will be back later, I am going to try and sleep... Not saying it will happen right away but if I set the timer on the TV and turn it down maybe just maybe I will fall asleep and I HOPE for DEEP REM... something else I will give you some research on later.
Night!
I am so glad that you have started this blog, for several reasons. I also suffer from several mental issues and have continued to be in denial that i dont need medical intervention. The people around us dont understand what we go thru on a daily basis and it takes a strain on us to try to "act" normal in order to keep the peace. Our mood swings are horrible and trying to think before we speak is sooo hard because its just something that happens so quickly and you have this urge to get it out of you or you are gonna explode. I will continue to keep up with your awesome blogs. I think it will help many people. I feel better already that i am able to speak out about it and not be afraid of judgements, so i thank you Debbielicious for making this new transition i have been going thru the past several months a bit easier. Thank you sooooo much, from the bottom of my heart :)
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